Thoughts of a Pissed off Adult Adoptee

One last straw

2009-02-04T15:50:00.000-08:00

So i do full heartly beleive that there comes a point in everypersons life where the must decieded somebody the love or use to love is not good for the betterment of themselves this is what i have done. I search deep down in my heart to try and find some sort of love from the women i use to call mother, yet im left empty handed all i can find is a deep darkening hate. I truly loath every aspect of her exstiance. What im about to say i want every Amom on the face of this planet to read, send this to all the Amom Christian Warriors you know and have them read this. JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IN YOUR HEAD YOU RAISED US THERE FOR YOU ARE MORE INTILTED TO OUR LOVE WELL YOUR NOT! I can understand having the same love for both mothers given the right circumstance, but im sorry to say blood is more bonding then a peace of papper with an autograph on it. SO get it out of your fuckin heads that since you did this child and this familly a huge favor you deserve more love then the person(s) who gave this child life! They gave us life, they are our blood, By natures law WE ARE MOTHER FUCKIN FAMILLY! All you Amoms will never change that ever. Attack me, attack my mother but know deep down that are hearts are filled with Joy and love and there is nothing, let me say that again, there is NOTHING anyone of you fuckin people can do to change that. Here on out Terri is dead to me, i want the last 20 some years of my life to fade into a dim picture in the back of my brain wile i make room from the next 20 years of my life, wich promises to be exciting lol.

Potluck ft Tech N9ne - What We are

2009-01-27T22:16:00.000-08:00

Aite so this is the song of the night for me check it out

[Intro]
What you're about to witness is one of the best collaborations of all time.
Kansas City's, Humbo County's Show em we are what we are

[Underrated]
Hey yo, when I rap no never know what fewer better
a mouth full of cheddar make me a greedy setter
Got a mean vendetta, my team is too clever
Never ever gonna stop, cause I rock forever
You ain't never gonna see me when I be me
When it comes to the rhymes, can't beat me
All the girls say, "you complete me"
Even some weekly wanna meet me
Bust on the scene like Jeezy (Yeeeaah)
Everybody want a Potluck CD
After the show, collect the dough
Then we go to the hotel blowin smoke
You gonna hold the Po because my flow is dope
Because I'm invincible, you can't sink the boat
Fuck American Idol, we rock hardcore bitch
Get stupid, get dumb, matter fact lets thizz
Underrated in a bout my peers
Put the pump in the back of the Benz
Quick better tell all your friends
It's Potluck and Tech N9ne rockin again
And we rockin the MO with Krizz Kaliko
His flow is so cold, gotta go gold
And a lock in the do(or) like a fo(ur)fo(ur) at a show
Man I'm never so-so
Under syllable criminal won't forget it but let it go in the stereo
Sure up and get high
Motherfuckers staring but pity for em baring, but when they lyric go
and if you wanna bet em they go'n die
Now we gotta roll the riches (No lie)
Hanging up the colder pictures (Don't cry)
Gotta stand in the street with my hand on my dick
Cause I wanna be sayin, "I'm rich bitch"

[Chorus]
When I party with ya'll
We drinkin Crown up at the bar
When I'm smokin with ya'll
Take it to the head til' we fall
And we duckin the law
We hit them corners til' they gone
See em fuckin with ya'll cause we are what we are

[Tech N9ne]
Anybody got another pill
I gotta get a muthafucka to give me the artificial loving
I wanna be trippin, I gotta be high
Tryin ta kick it hella wicked until we die
Neva the nigga ta get a milli when I'm tripin n buckin it
I'mma nigga in the party with your bitch n Im fuckin it
Butcha gotta be ready to get up n go
If you wanna start up a fight over ragidy hos
Me n Potluck put the cocks up in a hot slut tryna bust a nut before the slot locks up
Given a minute to get us up in it bet everybody shiver when I deliver the jock pops up
Underrated he made it a bomb with the heat
Makin it so it aint never calm in the street
Tecca Ninna with One Ton nigga we come from nothin
we bustin like hella spawns on a Buh-buh-buh-beat
Verbally ya heard of me murder thee mental capacity
flippin with Missouri in back of me, pack a B
Thinkin imagine me Tech attack a muthafucka with the tongue
Nigga ya better be steadily bringin the medily
readily, cuz ever-y niggas thinkin ahead of me
Will never be fetty cuz I bring it like a bullet from a gun
So whut'chu really wanna do? Get back on the road, get a sack, crack a brew
Put a bitch in the back n I give her whut she really
wanna muthafucka to makin it do whut it do
With a Carrabou Lou, 151, Mallaboo Rum, n pineapple juice
You know the party gatta be fun, compatible groups'a niggas
Chillin with ya home girl in 707 with the liquor

[Chorus]

[1 Ton]
Hey bartender can I get another round
With a little bit a ice and a lot more Crown
Keep it strong with the clowns when I'm in yo town
Bet it all goes down cause I got that sound
Say what I wanna when I jump up on yo rhythm
When I smoke better try hobo
Better hit til you cry and choke
Now know why I rhyme so dope
Party all day and night with a hoe
Gotta get that dough like I just passed go
And the next show better be the best yo
Kick it at the hotel, I just get so frisco
All the way to Esko, flow mad chick and I say presto
Let a nigga get a little sip of XO
I pull the rest and tell the bitch lets go
I do what I do, rap what I be
Flow straight heat, gettin high in the street
Got what I need grow a mouth full of seed
You can take it from we at the top of the peak
Do what I can for the fan, I am what I am, I'm another weed man
Green like a vegan, not a mean man
I don't gotta green thumb, I gotta whole green hand

what was silenced

2009-01-27T21:58:00.000-08:00

this is my responce to one of the many site that list and sell Children in the name of lord, fuckin idiots id love to watch em bleed hahaha

First, let me start off with saying this is one of the most disgusting things I have ever laid my eyes upon, and I’ve seen a lot in my 21 years of living, but this, putting a price on a child and listing him/her on a blog as if you were selling a car is just wrong. A white Caucasian male will run you about 35k while an African-American male child will run you about 23k. What is this, cars made by a certain company therefore will be better? Are you serious?

These are children people. The most innocent thing in the world has now become a Market for investments and profit. Look at the way you list them here as if they were a product, like they came out of a plastic box. Do you not have children of your own? Let me ask you this, would put a price tag on them and sell them on the open market? No? Then why do you find it to be right to sell another person(s) child over blogspot?

I’m sure, by now, some have stopped reading and wrote me off as an uneducated buffoon who has no idea what I’m talking about and to those of you closed minded, ignorant pricks, all I can say to you is piss off.

I am a product of the whole open adoption craze. It was like a new fashion craze amongst you. Everyone is doing it so it must be right. Well it’s not right and I will tell you why. When my Amom stopped sending my Mother(Cassi) news and pictures on how I was doing, my Mother went to the adoption agency and complained. They told her there is nothing she can do about it, that I was now under the control of my Amom(Terri). My adoption was an open one and just like that it became closed. I will only say this, the amount of pain that caused my mother still ripples through time today. What it did to me has changed who I am forever. I spent most of my youth jumping around from step dad to step dad, watching the first one physically and mentally abuse Terri and I. The second one never loved me. He told me that himself. There was no father figure besides Terri's Father. He passed away when I was 15, the only sort of guidance for me had passed on to a better place. I was lost. I didn't know who I was I knew that I wasn't blood with the people I lived with and deep down inside I knew I didn't belong where I was.

As a teen I was far from an angel. I did a lot of things I look back on now and hold in deep regret of my actions. When I was 16, Terri left me with her Mother who at the time was unable to walk. I had complete freedom and I took full advantage of it. I found myself stealing her car, credit cards, and cash and partying every night. By the time I was 17, I was kicked out of Terri's mother's house and left to move back in with Terri. This was the hardest time of my life.Terri was a drunk and a mean one at that. It caused many fights and many problems for us. I don’t want to cover much on this time.

I was doing nothing but living to die. I knew deep down I hated everything and everyone and the only thing that made that go away was an abusive drug habit that still scars my heart today. Both of my shoulders are destroyed from self inflected wounds. They will never look the same. These are the things that haunt me. Now I tell you that story to tell you this one.

The adoption agency told my mom she would not be able to be a good mother for me. Those lying bastards. I have 2 little brothers and one little sister. Both of my Parents are still together and married doing what they can to make sure we, their children, have everything we need to succeed in life. They told her this would not happen.

Now I’ve read all over books about feeling angry towards (and I hate using this term) the Natural parents and if you’re one of those right now reading this, I want to say this from me to you. Forgive and open your heart. Remember when you were young and scared about the world? Well they were too and they were tricked by a money thirsty industry. If they would have known the true cost it would never have happened and it would have been done there. So again forgive. Your heart will feel better as will theirs.

So don't sit there and tell me someone can’t raise a child because they've smoked a little pot. Or because they are young and still young adults themselves. 99% of parents out there love their children with all their heart to an extent that words cannot describe. I say 99% because there is that 1% who kill their children because they are legitimately insane and God told them to do it.

Love is a powerful thing and it will make you do crazy things, such as forget your old lifestyle and begin raising a child.

And so now here you sit reading over ads on the Internet for children. All of them have different packages and milage on them and you feel good about yourself? It should not matter the race or gender or age of the child. Why? Because they are children, all the same innocence wrapped up in a bundle of joy.

So I hope this made some of you think a little bit about the truth behind this industry. It’s not always everything they tell you it will be.

Iuguolo pro nex , nex pro inhonesto

2009-01-27T21:36:00.000-08:00

So tonight is going to be one of those nights. Im sitting here reviewing last couple days happenings and here is what i gotta say. IF YOU THINK BY DELETING WHAT WE SAY THAT WE WILL SHUT UP AND JUST BE HAPPY WE WERENT ABORTED YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!! Delete what we say, ignore us, write us off as insignificant people because we were adopted go for it. When im in heaven flipping you off in hell i hope you think about some of the things you did in the name of the Lord. You know what FUCK YOU i wont be silent anymore, i will irratate you, i will harrass you untill you understand the message. WE ARE DONE TAKING YOUR SHIT, WE ARE DONE WATCHING YOU SELL CHILDREN ONLINE! It makes me sick to think there are people out there who see that are right and Godlike, and to those pepole i pray to God your reading this now. YOUR FUCKING UP, children are not merchandise!!!! THEY ARE LIVING BREATHING like you and me you simple bitch. Your days of brushing us off because we were adopted is over. I welcome any of you to come here and post your thoughts with out fear of being deleted, regardless wat side your on. i spent 21 years of my life doing nothing but shuting up well no more, NO FUCKING MORE. Step to me please id love to share my thoughts with you. The time of taking your lies and your shit is at a close end, WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED ANYMORE!!!.

Playlist

2009-01-25T11:23:00.000-08:00

Thine Pics

2009-01-24T13:39:00.001-08:00

Things you should know.....

2009-01-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

Im 21 years old and still growing. When i was born i was born i was ripped from my mothers life by the nazi founded adoption industry. I am a temperamental Italian German Irish boy who is not afraid of what people think of me. I hold alot of anger inside of me towards those who call them selves christians and yet try to sollicate children via the internet. This is wrong and needs to end. I need a place to vent and this it so as i find the need to i will post blogs on here and i will warn you they are not for the weak hearted or closed minded.